My Wife Being Transgender Has Made Me a Better Person-Trans Partners-Transgender Universe-The partner of a transgender woman explains how she has become a better person because of her wife’s transition.

Living through an emotionally traumatic experience with another human being has a tendency to bring those people closer together. Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security and make you feel helpless. For some spouses and partners of transgender people, hearing the words “Honey, I am transgender” falls into that category. The cisgender partner often experiences sadness, helplessness, and loneliness through the transition. This is not the intention of the person transitioning, just an unfortunate repercussion. No two people have the same reaction to a specific event and there is no right or wrong way to think or feel about it. We are all individuals who deal with things differently, and we need to be understanding of everyone’s individual reactions.

“It was a life-changing event that I am now grateful for having lived through.”

I witnessed my spouse blow up her life to become the woman she was always meant to be. This beautiful spirit stripped herself to the bones and bared her soul to me. Words can’t describe what the receiving end of that feels like. To be a trusted observer of someone else’s rebirth is a remarkable experience. It was a life-changing event that I am now grateful for having lived through. I have realized that this major change in our lives has made me a kinder, gentler version of myself. I am not entirely sure how or when this happened, but I am thankful that it did because my family and I benefited from the change drastically.

After going through the grieving process, and under the instruction of my wife’s gender therapist, I began therapy myself. Healing old childhood traumas played a big part in my new healthier outlook on life. Ejecting the anger and negative people out of my life was also imperative to viewing my future clearly. And, through all of this insanity my wife and I grew closer and our relationship benefited from our hard work. The recipe for a good relationship is patience, understanding, respect, empathy, and love with a heap of communication on a daily basis. I once lived my life on autopilot, and now I work hard every day to be present in every moment. It’s as if I went through a transition of my own.

“I don’t judge people by what I see, I talk to them so I can better understand where they have been.”

There is no perfect person who walks among us but every day I make the conscious decision to be better than I was yesterday. My wife’s transition has not only made her immensely happy and improved our relationship, but it has taught me so much. I now look at the world differently. I don’t judge people by what I see, I talk to them so I can better understand where they have been. I listen closely and think before speaking. I feel the fear that sometimes stops me from achieving the things that I want, but push through it anyway. I removed the toxic people in my life out and met some incredibly inspirational humans. We have become very active in our local LGBTQ+ community, and I enjoy every minute of it and treasure the people we have met along the way.

My Wife Being Transgender Has Made Me a Better Person-UA Nigro-Transgender Universe-The partner of a transgender woman explains how she has become a better person because of her wife’s transition.

When I married my wife years ago, I never saw these things in our future. This was not the path that I thought we would find ourselves on. However, I am grateful to her for all of it. Today, I need to say thank you. I want to thank her for having the strength and courage to become her authentic self. I want to thank her for trusting in our love for one another and for making our family even stronger. I want to thank her for always loving me, even when I am difficult. And, I want to thank her for allowing me to become who I was meant to be. My wish is that together we continue to learn, grow, help other people like us, and love each other more deeply. I couldn’t ask for a better partner on this journey, so thank you.

  • Jamie Lynn Hemphill

    Read this and got goosebumps, it gives me a look from the side of my wife, she has had to deal with all of the things in this article. I after 6.5 years of marriage “came out” and admitted to myself and her that I was transgender and we began a journey that has profoundly changed both of our lives, brought us closer and I believe made us better happier people. Love the article and glad to know there are others sharing the same journey. 💝🎁

  • Keaira Finlay

    My wife eventually became my biggest supporter but somewhere along the way, she no longer saw me as her husband. Instead, I became her best friend. We had been married for 16 years. She fell for a man she had played World of Warcraft with for years. I discovered that she wanted to be with him so, I did the honorable thing and let her have a divorce. I didn’t want to lose her, but, I didn’t want her to be unhappy in our relationship. She wasn’t into women and that’s how she saw me. She passed away suddenly about 3 weeks ago. We had only been divorced about 3 months.

  • Lee Anne

    Sometimes we forget that we are not the only ones in transition.In our rush to become we often leave behind those we love then blame them for the disaffection. Not all relationships will survive but those that do are a result of some very hard work. It took me almost 60 years to come to terms with who I am. I should be able to let my wife have a little time to adjust.

  • Rhiannon Dawn Foster

    It is great to see a relationship survive a partner transitioning. That said based on others I know in my support group it is far more often the exception than the rule. My long marriage survived about a week when I finally went full time. It is good to hear of a positive outcome 😊

  • Holly Bartlett

    ❤️Thank you!

  • Jacqueline awesome girl

    I’ve been married to my wife for 16 years. She fell in love with the female inside, and my appearing female outside compliments and legitimizes the inside. Not many cis marriages survive these days, but ours is as strong as ever. Love the person, and when you share and support who they are the union will be stronger. We share far more than a cis couple could. We don’t “separate” activities by gender and enjoy many common things. It’s like been married to your best female female friend. We have far fewer arguments or disagreements on spending and doing girly things. We talk a lot and we share feelings. We don’t have the real and stereotypical conflicts. Household chores are not gender based. Many women complain about their man for many reasons and often want to make them more like them…. having a female with a penis is the perfect solution 🙂 The positives far outweigh the negatives. Most of the negatives are influenced by society norms anyway. There is a reason most marriages fail… take the testosterone out of a relationship and a lot will be better… your wife can give you all the “male” needs, with out the negatives of cis men… a female with a penis is the best male or female 😉

    • Holly Bartlett

      You and yours truly are not in any way that stereotypical sexist marriage that sadly far too many think it’s supposed to be! Happy the rest of your lives and thank you! For making my point!

  • LindyBoom

    I transitioned nearly 25 years ago. My wife and I have been together since 1980 and married now for 35 years as of this month. She been married to me post transition twice as long as pre transition. She was the one who saved up for SRS and other procedures for me too back in 1997. Even better, we’re both police officers (retired now).